Category: Notable Quotes

Can it be possible?

Leave a comment

I can’t be sure about this, because it would be mind-blowingly stupid, but I think I just saw this at TJ Maxx today…

There was an older woman at the counter checking us out and a young girl next to her taking the size labels off the hangers and putting them into little bins.

The girl had a whole stack of hangers with blue “medium” labels on them, meaning they were little Ms. She was taking them off the hangers right-side up so the M looked like an M and not like a W.

She got to one that was upside down and turned to the older woman to ask, “Do the Ws go in here too?”

The older woman stopped in her tracks at the immeasurable stupidity of her young co-worker and then nodded, “Yes, the Ws.” Before finishing up with us.

Could it be real? Is there really someone so dumb that they can’t tell that a blue M label is still a blue M label when it’s upside down?

Great quote

Leave a comment

I was a Safeway today and I overheard this conversation.

Woman 1: “I can’t believe it’s snowing again. I’m just so sick of this weather!”
Woman 2: “Well, if you’re gonna shoot all these things into space, then it’s gonna snow like this.”

I have no idea what the hell that means. How does “shooting all these things into space” relate to snowing? And what things does she think people are shooting into space? And who are the people shooting the things into space?

Hmmmm, so many questions.

Fox5 in DC might have been the most quotable local news program ever

Leave a comment

Here are just three of my favorite headlines from Brian Bolter and the gang at Fox5 in DC…

“When asked about hygiene, one child told a state official recently, he washes himself with a bar of soap and a sock because nobody will give him a washcloth.”

“Police are looking for four inmates on the loose. Last night they overpowered a jail guard using warm, soapy water.”

“A kid gets drunk while his mother gives birth.”

I miss the sensational headlines from good ol’ Fox5 now that I’m in Denver, where our local news is more of an anchor love fest than an informative program. Back in DC, we used to get the panic/hysteria teasers and 10 second bumps just before the show. Here, all we get is reporters reading us information in between complimenting each other on their hair or outfits. I miss my panic news. The news out here is too calm and relaxed.

Here’s one from Geraldo At Large for the road:
“There’s nothing wrong with your TV, you are watching small children ride sheep.”

Why I love my mom

Leave a comment

Today we were trying to get everything together to close on the condo that I’m buying on Monday. Everything was ok on our end, but there were some big screw ups with the seller and my mom was on the phone with the lender, the realtor, and the seller all day trying to work it out. She was talking to the lender and he was saying that he felt bad that things had gotten so messed up. My mom responded with this:

“Well I wish I would have known about this earlier because I would have had two feet in somebody’s ass by now!”

That’s why I love my mom.