My article, “What Your Wireless Network Says About You” is in today’s Central Denver YourHub on page 11. Trashwire readers might remember this article from October 2006 when it was posted on our old site.
You can still check it out on Trashwire here and read it on YourHub.com right here.
Every day, IFC.com is posting new episodes of Trapped in the Closet. While I don’t have time to cover them all, I’m going to try to keep up with R.Kelly’s Jerry-Springer-like saga on the Trashwire blog. (trashwire.com/blog)
The latest chapter can be found here:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/ bcpid1126121795/bclid1127690699/bctid1137812253
In this chapter, Sylvester conducts a secret meeting with a blonde-wig-wearing Cathy in a restaurant. At the meeting, it is revealed that their “affair” was actually Cathy’s attempt to catch her husband Rufus cheating.
At least I think that’s what’s revealed. Frankly, the whole thing is getting so crazy (people getting shot, midgets getting fat southern girls pregnant, cell phones ringing, etc.) that it’s reached the next level of bizarre.
Anyway, while Sylvester is meeting with Cathy, he remarks that the waitress looks familiar. People who remember the first run of this “epic” tale will remember that Gwendolyn (Sylvester’s wife) has a friend named Tina who is also friends with another girl named Roxanne. Sylvester says he doesn’t know Tina, but would “probably know her if I’d seen her”. Well, get ready for this folks… the waitress is Tina! See what R. Kelly did there? He brought the whole story around again. He’s just so clever. I think, in his mind, he’s pretty sure he deserves an Oscar for this.
Soon, Sylvester realizes who the waitress is, with a little help from Twan (Gwen’s brother) and a gold-toothed cell phone detective. Just remember, I’m not making this up. Sylvester goes to confront the waitress and she suddenly flips out and points a broken bottle at him as the infamous Roxanne emerges from the kitchen of the restaurant with a frying pan proclaiming that she knows Tae-bo. Again, I’m not making this up.
I can only imagine the ignorant shit that will follow in chapter 15. Look for that tomorrow on ifc.com. Stay tuned to the Trashwire Blog for more coverage.
DIGG IT or read more about Trapped in the Closet on TRASHWIRE.COM.
‘The Two Coreys’ is a new “reality” show on A&E that stars former 80s stars Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. The show could have been a fantastic celebreality guilty pleasure, were it not so hopelessly contrived. Every episode is less like a reality show and more like a poorly written sitcom, minus the laugh track.
A couple weeks ago, there was an episode where slovenly frosted-tipped Haim butted heads with Susie Feldman, the skinny LA stereotype wife of his BFF, Corey Feldman, criticizing her for being taking away his former party buddy. As Feldman tried to calm Haim down and tell him to lay off Susie, Haim shouted, “Who is she?! She’ll never be part of The Coreys!”
I just like the idea of The Coreys, as a gang of washed up former child-stars who roam the streets like the leather-jacket-clad street toughs in the “Beat It” video.
Is it really a gang if it’s just two people? I think that’s the smallest possible gang, actually. Otherwise, it’d just be one douche named Corey.
Then I started to think about what the initiation would be to get into The Coreys. Maybe you’d have to star in a vampire movie and then immediately fuck up your entire career. Maybe you’d have to gain a bunch of weight or get married on ‘The Surreal Life’. Maybe you’d have to executive produce a totally scripted reality show that is so bad that even trash-tv lovers like me couldn’t stomach it.
The whole idea of a gang called The Coreys reminded me of this clip from ‘Reno 911!’
I bet being a member of the Grape Slushies carries more street cred than being part of The Coreys. In fact, I think Terry from ‘Reno 911!’ could probably take every member of The Coreys (all two of them) in his short shorts and roller skates without even breaking a sweat. Man, I’d really love to see that.
For now, I think we should all feel a little better about ourselves knowing we are not members of The Coreys.