Armed burglars demand eggbeater

Now that’s a headline!

I just came across this news item while browsing stories on my Mobile News iPhone App. It comes to us from TampaBayOnline

TAMPA – It must be one special eggbeater.

That was the loot two men demanded after entering a home in Plant City, one brandishing a pistol and the other holding a knife to the resident’s throat, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.

The two men face charges of armed burglary of a dwelling after being caught outside the home on State Road 60 in Plant City about 4:25 a.m. Sunday, the sheriff’s office said.

Deputies arrested Robert Eugene Thompson, of 2211 Holloman Road, Plant City, and Taurus Deshane Morris, of 5852 Odom Road, Lakeland.

Besides the burglary charge, Thompson faces a charge of aggravated assault.

The sheriff’s office said the two men entered the home about 3:35 a.m. Thompson armed himself with a folding knife while Morris held a chrome pistol, arrest reports said.

Thompson held the knife against the victim’s neck and demanded the metal eggbeater, which was found in his left back pocket when he was arrested, the sheriff’s office said.

Thompson and Morris are being held in Orient Road Jail with no bail.

People do some crazy stuff, but this is really spectacular. The very idea that these two face burglary and aggravated assault charges because they just had to have an eggbeater is really astounding to me.

This story was even a bit reminiscent of an old item from the primordial Trashwire about a news story with the headline “Meat juice leads to stolen property”.

Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow

Last night, Denver broke all time records by reaching -15 degrees. This morning, despite the sun’s efforts, it was still about -13 with a predicted high of 16 above zero. We’d be lucky if we reached freezing today!

When I woke up to the radio talking about the crazy weather, I was immediately reminded of the South Park episode that was a parody of The Day After Tomorrow. In the episode, South Park declares a global warming emergency after a beaver dam breaks in the neighboring town of Beaverton. When global warming is determined to be the cause of the flood, everyone focuses on who’s to blame. It’s a spectacular episode because it contains a scene where a man is chased down and killed by global warming!

It also features a fantastic parody of the sequence in the film when Dennis Quaid and company are treking through the snow from Philadelphia to Manhattan to go rescue some kids from the library. In the SP version, the dads are dressed in full arctic gear and climbing through the sunny streets of the town. I can hardly do it justice, so check out the episode to see why the scene is so rad.

Either way, this crazy ass weather makes me want to run down the streets shouting, “We didn’t listen!!!”