I completely forgot about this parody from Chris Rock until I stumbled upon it while cleaning out my iTunes library. This has so many quotable lines it’s hard to keep track. My faves are “The ODB couldn’t have possibly committed all those crimes! Coolio did some of that shit.” and “Why spend the next 20 years in jail because someone smudged your Puma?”

For those who don’t know, Clark and Michael was an internet series starring Clark Duke and Michael Cera and it’s my favorite thing to ever come from the internet. There were only 10 episodes, but those contained lines I still quote to this day, most of them coming from my comedy crush, Clark Duke.

Here are a few of my faves:
“If there’s one piece of lettuce in my hard shell taco, I’ll but it down, whole building.”
“Her ass was shaped bizarre. It was like two globes of two different planets colliding.”

And of course, there’s Clark’s pitch for his secret show, “D.A. Dad”:
“It’s about a single father of three that’s also a district attorney for the city. That’s the genius of it; the complexity. You got it on two levels – you got it on parallel rails running down: a theme on one side, and character arc on the other. We’re going to nail that 18-34 market. He thinks he’s teaching these kids but these kids are really teaching him.”

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I can’t believe I forgot to post this! It was one of my favorite SNL shorts of all time! Anyway, here it is.

Read an article today saying Japanese scientists intend to clone a mammoth by 2015 in a procedure that completely disregards the valuable lessons we learned from Jurassic Park.

According to the article, Dr. Akira Iritani of Kyoto University had this to say:

“The success rate in the cloning of cattle was poor until recently but now stands at about 30 per cent,” he said. “I think we have a reasonable chance of success and a healthy mammoth could be born in four or five years.”

I was left wondering if Karl Pilkington had heard the news, especially knowing how he reacted to a similar story years ago…

Oh South Park, you say it better than I ever could.

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View the full episode at southparkstudios.com