And one more…

I completely forgot about this parody from Chris Rock until I stumbled upon it while cleaning out my iTunes library. This has so many quotable lines it’s hard to keep track. My faves are “The ODB couldn’t have possibly committed all those crimes! Coolio did some of that shit.” and “Why spend the next 20 years in jail because someone smudged your Puma?”

For those who don’t know, Clark and Michael was an internet series starring Clark Duke and Michael Cera and it’s my favorite thing to ever come from the internet. There were only 10 episodes, but those contained lines I still quote to this day, most of them coming from my comedy crush, Clark Duke.

Here are a few of my faves:
“If there’s one piece of lettuce in my hard shell taco, I’ll but it down, whole building.”
“Her ass was shaped bizarre. It was like two globes of two different planets colliding.”

And of course, there’s Clark’s pitch for his secret show, “D.A. Dad”:
“It’s about a single father of three that’s also a district attorney for the city. That’s the genius of it; the complexity. You got it on two levels – you got it on parallel rails running down: a theme on one side, and character arc on the other. We’re going to nail that 18-34 market. He thinks he’s teaching these kids but these kids are really teaching him.”

More episodes:

10. Pandora Boxx
Pandora makes the list for her fun, creative style. Her sense of humor shined through in all of her looks and performances. Despite all that, the judges constantly gave her unwarranted negative critiques on the runway. Pandora had the last laugh, though. Her Absolut commercial is the most memorable of the bunch and she was the stand out Drag Professor on RuPaul’s Drag U. Her most memorable moment came from her hilarious impression of Carol Channing on the “Snatch Game” episode.

9. Ongina
Ongina may have been on of the smallest contestants, but she left on of the largest imprints on the show. She was high-energy and fun, like a little pixie, but it was her Viva Glam video that stood out as one of the most touching moments in all of Drag Race. After a joyful video about celebrating life, Ongina revealed that she was HIV positive, bringing pretty much everyone to tears. Ongina was a shining example of someone who always had a good attitude, even through tragedy.

8. Shannel
Who could possibly forget Shannel?! This season one stand-out was a true entertainer, a Las Vegas showgirl with a larger-than-life personality. Her outfits were creative, often showing off a lot of skin and bitch knew how to work a room. Shannel’s look, combined with her talent, commanded the attention of both the judges and the fans. Best moment: when her headpiece “accidentally” came off during her lip sync performance against Akashia, who is most definitely NOT on this list.

7. Jujubee
Juju was memorable for her incredible sense of humor. She was like a tiny, extra fierce Kimora Lee, whom she portrayed in the “Snatch Game” episode. She and Raven were the perfect duo and most of the funniest moments from season two came from their interactions. Juju’s best moment was the reading mini-challenge where she stole the show by throwing shade at the other girls.

6. Delta Work
Delta is on the list in the sixth position mostly because I wanted to avoid having all Heathers in the top four, even though they deserve it. Delta was one of the smartest and wittiest contestants on the show, often teaming up with Raja to throw shade about the other girls backstage during Untucked. Best moment: Delta was on fire during the QNN Untucked episode, but my favorite moment was when she and Raja were discussing Manila’s Asian reporter character and Delta referred to her as “dollar Chinese menu”, perfectly (and humorously) summarizing her performance.

Find out who made the top 5 on Trashwire.com

This week, I had the chance to see two new movies, The Rum Diary, starring Johnny Depp, and In Time, starring Justin Timberlake. My reviews for both films are up on Trashwire now. Here’s a little taste:

The Rum Diary, based on the early Hunter S. Thompson novel, takes a searing look at excess and corruption in Puerto Rico in 1960. Johnny Depp stars as Paul Kemp, a journalist who travels to the island to write for a failing newspaper. Paul is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy who’s not out to mix up anything but a cocktail. Read the rest at Trashwire.com…

And here’s the one for In Time:

Time is money in In Time, starring Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried. In this future society, everyone stops aging at 25 (when they’re at the height of hotness, coincidentally) and gets one year of time to “spend” trying to extend their lifespan. The super rich can live forever while the poor end up dying in the streets–yep, they’re dropping metaphors here–and someone’s got to shake up the entire system. Read the rest at Trashwire.com…

My good friend Brett Walker also wrote a review of In Time for Trashwire. You can check his review out at: itson.tw/sI0QCN.

My goal for 2012 is to update this blog a lot more, so hopefully I’ll have time to post more than twice a century! Until then, follow me on Twitter or like Trashwire on Facebook to get connected.

I love this man!

And here’s the commercial…

If you had told me a year ago that I’d really enjoy the prequel to a 1968 Charlton Heston movie starring James Franco and a bunch of CGI chimpanzees, I would have seriously questioned your ability to predict the future. Fast forward to today and I would have asked you for the lottery numbers because Rise of the Planet of the Apes was actually really fun. … Read entire article »

I’ve got Mike Judge and Johnny Knoxville talking about the new Beavis & Butt-Head, Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) signing autographs and answering Q&A at his movie screening, Elijah Wood talking about playing a suicidal guy who talks to a dog and, of course, a little Gerard Way action.

Here are a few of my faves:

You guys know I lose all traces of professionalism when it comes to My Chemical Romance, so I’d be lying if said this wasn’t my favorite picture of them all:

Go check out everything on the Trashwire blog from this most majestic of geek events.