Why does M. Night Shyamalan get to keep making movies?

Trey Parker once sang, “Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?” and after seeing The Happening on DVD, I’m beginning to think the same thing about M. Night Shyamalan.

Once the brilliant young newcomer, Shyamalan’s talent seems to have completely dissipated, leaving only ego and self-importance. Like the Kanye West of cinema, he seems to believe that every film he’s made since 1999’s The Sixth Sense is the greatest thing ever to grace the screen and those who criticize or question his work are simply unworthy of his genius….

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I don’t have a new holiday video card, so I’m re-using this one. Let’s blame the economy.

It seems like each day there’s some other bizarre news story on the internet. I saw this one on boingboing.net. A clip from the police blotter section of a Silicon Valley area paper stated the following:

Wal-Mart: Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trashcan. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito.

I just like that whoever made the 911 call didn’t actually check if there was a baby in a trash can, but rather, saw a baby-shaped thing from afar and then ran to alert the authorities. Just think about the tax dollars that were spent to send cops to investigate a discarded snack.

The comments on the post were just as good as the story itself. One person wrote:

somewhere in my vast paper collection, i have a clipping from an atlantic city newspaper police blotter that said someone found a penis in the buffet lasagne tray that either belonged to “a person, or small mammal.” never another word about it in subsequent papers.

Another echoed my logic saying:

Still, you think they would have actually confirmed it was a baby and not, you know, a burrito before calling the cops.

And one joked:

Its a sad world we live in where someone could just throw a burrito away like it was a baby. Don’t they know there are college students with the munchies who can’t have burritos of their own?

I swear, the amount of pointless “news” stories on the internet is staggering.

I was browsing my Google Alerts at work today and I saw this video from Eden Lane of Colorado Outspoken. Eden was one of the fantastic members of the press on the the Red Carpet for our Opening Night presentation of The Brothers Bloom at the Starz Denver Film Festival this past November.

If you look closely, you can see me and my friend (and fellow publicist) Rachael in the background working the carpet and walking filmmakers to their interviews. Check it out for sure!

Check out my pics from the festival after the jump…
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From Yahoo News

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. – Police said a Port St. Lucie man was arrested for throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend, the second food attack that sent a man to jail in about a month. According to a police report released Monday, the 20-year-old man threw the sandwich at his girlfriend’s face during an argument about auto insurance and then hit her head with his fist.

The man admitted to throwing the food but not hitting her. He was arrested Friday and faces a battery charge.

Last month, another man was arrested on a battery charge for hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off and nearly causing a traffic crash.

Police reports did not what type of sandwich was used in either attack.

First, I find it amazing that someone who would throw a sandwich at another person has a girlfriend. Who dates a guy who wins an argument by chucking some cold cuts at your head?

Next, it seems that this is one of several sandwich attacks that have occurred in recent times. Perhaps it signals a larger trend towards sandwich assaults as opposed to regular old domestic violence. I like that the second attack “nearly caused a traffic crash”. This means that someone was operating a moving vehicle while a.) throwing a sandwich or b.) being hit with a sandwich. I wonder if insurance covers that.