The tag line for the star-studded Coen Brothers film ‘Burn After Reading’ is “intelligence is relative”. Certainly that statement is very fitting for this smart film about stupid people.

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View the red band trailer:

Anyone who watches The Soup knows about the “Spaghetti Cat” incident. About a week ago The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet did a story about binge drinking when they suddenly cut to this:

Well it seems that the strange picture was actually a “bleep photo” used as a cut-to when someone says something that’s deemed inappropriate for tv. A spokesperson for Fox told Media Bistro that viewers could expect a lot more of these bizarre “bleep photos” in the future on broadcast tv.

Media Bistro’s reply:

That isn’t distracting. That isn’t trivializing for a news show. They’re literally going to have dancing monkeys in lieu of a curse word - a cross word - a word?! The future just got a lot dimmer…and suddenly it looks a lot like LOLcats.

I couldn’t agree more. I don’t see how random cuts to strange images are any better than an actual bleep, a cut to black, or just letting the precious virgin ears of America hear a dirty word! I can only hope that it was a mistake and now this story they’ve given is their way of covering up their glitch.

Full clips from The Soup after the jump…
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Last night was the very last Red Rocks event of the year, Cinemocracy Rocks!. Like our regular Film on the Rocks programs on steroids, this time we had way musical acts (including The Apples in Stereo, Murs, Jill Sobule and more) and screened Election starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick.

Of course, the focal point of the evening had to be the top 10 short films (and three special selections) from the Cinemocracy short film competition. In this online contest, people uploaded videos about what democracy means to them. Then the public voted on their favorites and the winners screened at Red Rocks.

I have to give a shout out to my friend Isha Aran who directed “Democracy: A Marriage” and to Ryan Charmatz who created “The Short End of the Spaghetti” one of my all time favorite animated shorts.

I was upstairs in the Visitor’s Center for most of the night running the small press conference/filmmaker interviews. You can see footage from IFC News about it at IFC.com.

For now, though, here’s some pics….

[Show as slideshow]

“Look, Zigmond! Look at the sky! The planets are on fire! It is just as you prophecized! The planets of our solar system incinerating, like flaming globes, Zigmond! Like flaming globes!”

As many of you know, I saved up all my hard-earned money (and borrowed some of my mom’s hard-earned money) and bought a Prius on my birthday. I love my car and I’ve enjoyed 29 days of fuel-efficient bliss with it.

Today, on my way to work, one of the shittiest things ever happened… I was rear-ended!

I’ve always thought that the light on Colfax and Tremont was an accident magnet because I constantly see people running the red or slamming on their breaks when they realize they’re about to run the red. Because of these observations, I’m always extra careful when crossing that way.

I saw that the light before the deadly intersection was yellow, so I slowed down to stop at the red. Apparently, the woman behind me didn’t see the light at all and slammed right into my poor little car at full speed!

The impact was so hard that my glasses went flying off my face and into the dashboard, my bag, which had been on the seat beside me, went catapulting forward and my iPod went crashing into the console.

I was totally shocked and put the car in park so I could get out and see the damages. When I stood up and got out of my seat, my head felt heavy, like when you have a really bad head ache, and I realized how hard I’d been hit. The muscles on the left side of my neck were starting to lock up as the whole situation started becoming clearer.

I walked back to my seat and sat down as I started sobbing uncontrollably.

When I called 911, I was shaking and sobbing so hard I could barely talk. They kept asking if I wanted an ambulance, but I didn’t think I needed one as I wasn’t bleeding and had managed to stand up and walk out of the car.

An officer finally arrived about 20-30 minutes later and informed me that the woman who hit me had an expired insurance policy and a Mexico driver’s license.

Uninsured.

Not a citizen of this country.

This means my insurance has to pay to fix my car and I get stuck paying the deductible! My agent informed me that, because the woman who hit me had no insurance and wasn’t a citizen, any hope of recovering the funds from her was highly unlikely.

I did manage to go to work, which took my mind off things until my head and neck started hurting pretty bad and had to call it quits to take more Advil and lie down.

Now I’m concerned that my neck and head will feel like shit in the morning and that there might be more wrong with me than I’d originally assumed. That, and the pain in the ass it will be to try to take my car to the shop and wait for it to get fixed. Oh, and of course, knowing that I’ll be paying for all this.

Naturally all this had to happen the week before the DNC — only the busiest time since I started at my job!

I still don’t really know how I’m going to manage the financial impact of this accident… but, hey, at least I’m not severely injured.

If you’ve heard anything about Hamlet 2, it’s probably that the film was co-written by South Park alum Pam Brady. While some of the Jesus jokes and musical numbers might be reminiscent of everyone’s favorite foul-mouthed fourth graders, the film actually has little in common with the iconic animated show.

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Last night was fun, despite me being sick from dehydration. Astra Moveo was really good. The lead singer’s voice sounded great on every song and it was pretty impressive.

I also got my new Trashwire bumper stickers yesterday, so I gave them out to tons of people. I also made my mark on the famed signature wall by sticking one to a ceiling section that didn’t have any writing on it.

The guys from Mile High Sci-Fi did a great job with their short version of Big Trouble in Little China. In one particularly funny move, they threw in “Beat It” in a sequence where two rival gangs were battling in an alley.

I was super tired and still not feeling that great, so I left after the classic cartoon and didn’t stay for the movie.

On the way home, we stopped an Winchell’s. The dude at the counter gave us like 300 donuts for less than $10. It was insane. We ordered what we wanted and we were joking about our choices. He was listening to what we were saying and laughing at our jokes. Then he went down the line and added a shit load more to the box. He was like, “Here, for free for you ladies. I’m tired and I wanna go home, so here’s a bunch of free ones.” Who could resist free donuts?

They say there’s a real art to effectively driving a hybrid. You have to know when to press the gas and how much pressure to apply to ensure that the car uses the electric motor instead of the gas one. There are entire communities on websites devoted to tips and tricks for how to drive a hybrid and save a nice chunk of change on your gas bills.

Today, on my drive to work, I went from young Padawan learner to full fledged Prius Jedi when I managed to get 44 mpg on the short trip.

You see, contrary to popular belief (and usually Toyota ads and EPA figures) the Prius does not actually get better mileage in town than on the highway. Like a normal car, highway driving is usually where you can see the bigger mpg numbers. I think this is because the Prius still uses a gas engine some of the time, and gas engines are better in highway driving, making the use of your gas engine during this time more efficient. In my typical stop-and-go city driving, I’ve been about to achieve high 30s and occasionally a 40 or 41 in my miles per gallon.

Today was different. Today, I paid extra attention to the little graph that shows how much gas you’re using and tried to make sure it stayed in the 50s when possible. This kind of crazy gas monitoring is probably not advisable if you’re driving in a lot of traffic because looking down at the bar chart every three seconds can definitely be dangerous.

When I finally pulled into the parking lot, I glanced down and saw a 44 in the display screen. With my drive to work being short and my walking-distance proximity to tons of stuff downtown, I feel like I’ll only have to fill up my car every 13 years!

Then, when I got into the office, it was even better. There was a Sprint rental and tons of cell phone vendors with free stuff to give out.

I don’t know what it is about cheap free shit, but I just had to have some. I managed to score a really weird squishy stress ball and a bunch of pens. Shawnna and I kept making trips past the vendor booths and grabbing more free crap, distributing our vast collections throughout the office for everyone to enjoy.

Then, as if a day of good mileage and free promotional schwag wasn’t enough, Dori told me there were tons of bagels in the kitchen. A cheaper commute, free tacky pens and stuff, and now free food! The fact that these things make me so happy proves I’m easy to please.

This just in…

A Missouri woman says she has found Jesus in a bag of Cheetos. When Kelly Ramey opened a snack-sized bag of Cheetos, she felt something unusual and checked it out.

Most of her family and friends believe it looks like a mini orange sculpture of Jesus on the cross. Ramey and her husband call it “Cheesus.” Others see something completely different.

A local minister does not see anything theologically special about the Cheeto, but thinks some good could come from it.

Ramey doesn’t plan to sell the Cheeto because it’s bringing a lot of joy into her home. She will keep it in a safe deposit box or put it on display so more people can enjoy it.

I think they’re focusing on the wrong thing in this story. The real headline should read “Woman who isn’t Britney Spears finds Cheeto Jesus”. The shocking part of this story is not that some crazy chick thinks Jesus is in Cheetos, but that that crazy chick is NOT Brit Brit. Britney has been scouring bags of Cheetos for a lifetime and is yet to discover any divine imagery within the processed snacks.

I was feeling like crap from being so dehydrated at Red Rocks last night, so I got to work around 11am. When I pulled into the parking lot, I was hoping to park in one of the highly-coveted shady spots under a tree. Thankfully, one was available and I grabbed it.

As I parked and looked beside me, I saw that I was parked next to the newer model Toyota Prius.

Here’s a shot of my first gen Prius next to the larger second gen model:

I read that something like 57% of people who have the new hatchback-looking Prius said they like the car because it “makes a statement” about the driver. In other words, it’s like a badge proclaiming that they care about the environment. Only 25% said they liked the car because of the lower emissions.

This is exactly why I wanted the kind that looks like a regular compact car. I care about the environment, but I’m not trying to prove anything with the car I drive. (See: Ted Danson in “The Anonymous Donor” episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.) I don’t want to be like the hybrid-driving hippies in the “Smug Alert” episode of South Park. I love my new car so much, but I don’t ever see myself being one of those people who talks with my eyes closed while saying things like, “It’s just great to be part of the solution and instead of part of the problem.” I mostly wanna save gas money in my short drive to and from work every day.

There are a whole series of ads mocking the self-righteous Prius driver over at hybridcars.com. They’re pretty damn amusing. (If you check them out at that site, be sure to read the comments below. They’re funny on an entirely different level.)

My favorite is:

In case you can’t see it, the text says “Well, at least he drives a Prius.”

By the way, the quote at the top comes from Larry David in the “Wandering Bear” episode from season 4 of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I’m up at Red Rocks setting up for Breakfast Club at Film on the Rocks tonight and it’s pouring rain. I hope it lets up before too long so people will still come to the show.

I am always miserable on my birthday. Growing up, no one was ever around to come to my birthday parties because of summer break from school. When I got older, I had work or other obligations that prevented me from doing whatever I wanted.

This birthday broke that tradition in a big way!

For my 24th birthday, I got myself something that I haven’t had since I was about 17… a car!

My mom and I live just a few block apart and have been sharing a car since we moved to Denver in 2006. It was fine and good when I worked at the World Trade Center downtown because it was only about 5 blocks from my building. Now that I work a little farther away (at the best job ever!) I needed my own car.

I researched and debated for a few months, driving myself and all those around me totally insane in the process, before I settled on the Prius. It’s supposed to be better in town than on the highway and 99.9% of my driving is on the crowded streets of Denver. It’s much smaller than the Honda CRV my mom and I shared, so my inability to parallel park should be relatively cured. Not to mention the gas mileage, of course!

I tried every dealership for 100 miles and came up with nothing but an 8 month waiting list. I didn’t want to completely wipe out my life savings and have to wait almost a year for a car! So, I turned to Craig’s List.

It was there that I found a little white 2003 Prius that looked like the perfect fit. I’ve never been a huge fan of the newer hatchback look for the Prius, so the opportunity to get an old school model that looked like a car was just too good to pass up.

I purchased the car yesterday (after a very generous loan from my mom) and managed to get in and out of the DMV in less than 20 minutes… a miracle in itesef!

Since then, I’ve been loving every minute of it! In fact, I’m driving it up to Red Rocks this afternoon for Film on the Rocks.

Today’s my birthday! I’m using my savings (and borrowing a bit from my mom too) and trying to get myself a car. I think I found the perfect one, but I don’t want to jinx it by writing about it yet. If the deal goes through, I may post a picture of it later tonight.

Anyway, I’m still gonna be at work today and everything’s gonna be pretty normal. I’m hoping to acutallly celebrate my birthday tomorrow night backstage up at Red Rocks for Film on the Rocks. It should be fun.

The WordPress App for iPhone was just launched today and this is my first post using it. I’m sure there will be lots more as I’ve been searching for a way to blog from my phone for a while now.

A shot of our new “Du-Diaper” Baby in the office

I just saw this and found it pretty interesting. Check it out.